Diary Of A Army Wife

I know I usually write poetry for my scribblings but this week I figured I would do something with a design that I love. My tattoo artist took a tiger which is a animal I love and the tribal design and put this on me as a tattoo. Nothing completely perfect but something I completely love. It's on my lower back but still one of my favorite tattoos. A tiger is strong and beautiful, as tribal is beautiful and shows different meanings. Designs can be so beautiful!


Maybe those who love Tigers will like this?. Maybe those who like Tribal designs will like this?. Or maybe a mix of both worlds.... :D

-Till next time,
Jennifer

....I wrote this awhile ago about my husband but never showed anyone... we had some issues with communication and what not.. its better now but heres what I got..

Befuddled


Some days you seem so close
like you stand right before me
But then the next day you seem so far
like each other we can't see,
Each day is like a roller coaster
with my stomach turning upside down
You stand there looking
but yet you don't utter a sound,
I feel so confused and
my heart is being torn at its seams
And every night that I sleep
you seem to linger in my dreams,
Every time I look at you
I forget all my thoughts
And right then and there
it's you that my heart has sought,
Every time I hope
it turns into something bad
So for right now I'll stop thinking
And maybe things won't end up sad.


Befuddled on love at times, but no matter what, my vows have a meaning, I'm right there with you forever and always. xxoo

-Enjoy

A Message for My Child

I wish that I could show you
all the things that I have seen.

I wish that I could take you
everywhere that I have been.

I wish that I could indicate
the places where I fell,

And keep you, thus, from tripping
on those “rougher” spots as well.

I wish that I could do all this
and save you from the strife.

But I know that I’d be sparing you
the lessons of your life.

And you must learn those lessons
as hard as that may be,

Just know that you will always have
a helping hand from me.

This is my message to my children. Not many know their parents will be right there by then as they grow older. I will forever be there, guiding them, holding them and supporting them. This message from a Mother really means a lot.

-Love,
Your Mommy <3


For all of you reading this from Sunday Scribblings, these are my pride and joys. My Son Walter is 4 years old, he will be 5 in July & my daughter Karissa is 3 years old.. .. . Their truly my everything!.

In loving memory of my amazing Grandfather...


do not cry when i have gone
i'll see you soon, it wont be long
you'll hear my laugh in the springtime breeze
you'll hear my song in the birds in the trees
i am the fallen blossom, that dances through the street
i am the grass that grows beneath your feet

do not cry, its not nearly goodbye

i am in the heavens, wrapped in golden light
i am the stars that shine so clear and bright
i am the spring rain that falls from above
landing on you softly, showering you with love
i am the colour from flowers growing wild
i am the love to which you ebrace a child

do not cry, its not nearly goodbye


I miss my Pop so very much. It's not even nearly goodbye, it was a cya later in a more beautiful place. rest easy...your truly missed.

Cheers to the future!. I hope that I become successful and correct myself with schooling. I hope my children grow to be amazing and take all I am teaching them and using it in life. I hope they become accomplished in all they do and when they are growing year by year I hope to treasure those times.

Dear Future Me,
I wonder so many thing about my future all the time. Am I going to be happy in the future or really the opposite. Am I going to be with Brad or is my life going to make a turn for the worse and make me a emotional wreck?. Are my kids going to love me unconditionally or are they going to hate me cause I have rules and I am MOM, not so much as hate (dislike me) I guess. Where the hell am I going to be when I am 30 or so... thats 7 years away... boy life will be different, Walter & Karissa will be in school and I don't know what my life will be. I hope full of amazing things and memories forever forming before my eyes.

I guess if I could tell myself one thing that I have ALWAYS told myself is that... Stay strong and never let go of anyone you love, cause you will regret it in life at one time or another. I hope to keep that with me forever as I proceed to get older. I hope I have more friends when I am older, I hope my grandmother is still around as well. Thank god she is healthy and is awesome shape...

Future me, I don't have much to say other than STAY STRONG and NEVER GIVE UP.... I hope I make it a long way in life....

Until next time....

If I could write a letter to me....

I wish I could send it back in time to myself where life got complicated, back at about 15. I would prove it was me and point out all the things in my life that are going on... I'd tell myself not to let go of my first love so fast and never give up on my grandfather who is sick and dying of cancer. Stop giving your parents a hard time cause I know its not going to get myself anywhere, we can make it through this life in one piece. I would say we are doing good so far cause I am sitting here writing... I must say cherish all those memories that you hated to do with your family and friends, cause now that I am older there is nothing. And oh you got so much going for you in life and when you get pregnant your going to be so scared, but know that everyone calms down and they are there for you. Oh my, your son is so beautiful, it will probably be the most painful experience in life, but the by far best memory you will ever have. You will be scared and want to give up, and the you will be so happy you didn't - I promise. A few year later you will get pregnant again with a babygirl and you will think you can't do two kids at once. But your mother sits by you the whole time, yep our mom is simply amazing. She stand by the whole pregnancy, takes you to appointments and is right there wiping your head with a towel and giving you ice chips... she holds your hand and tells you that you can do it and your a awesome mommy. The very first thing said when you that babygirl takes her first breath will be "Jenn I am so proud of you, she is beautiful". Please know that you do a awesome job. It's tough with Brad going away but you manage to keep strong with help from the family. The most important person you need at that time is those beautiful kids of yours and your mother. Please don't burn any bridges as you will regret it, and when it comes down to leaving to move, hug her and tell her just how much you love her, cause it will be awhile till you see her again.....

I can't go much further with my letter to myself... I took it from the song by Kenny Chesney - Letter to me.... It was a pretty damn good idea. But to continue about the past....

I must say the past was a long hard road for me growing up. I am only going to be 23 and it was quite the experience. Lets go through a few questions...

Best Past Memory (any age, any memory):
It would be going to the beach with my Grandfather and Grandmother. Yeah crazy I know... I would pick any damn memory I want in life, the birth of my kids or anything and I choose this. I choose this cause I was little, not a brat, and by far in love with the only man in my life (My Gpa). ahaha I swore to god he was going to walk me down the isle and be there for me..... I swore it...(tears)... but illness got to him.... anyways.... the beach was before Cancer got him... before I was too "grown" in my eyes to spend time with him and my grandmom. I mean I still have times with my grandmother but not like we use to. I really love them, I miss him tons and love her a TON. Best memories would be of the beach when I was a perfect little me and still his bestfriend...

Worst Memory (any age, any memory):
Well like above I explained my grandfather was sick. Most would think losing him is the WORST memory... not really. The by far worst was seeing him slowly dying. You knew in your mind and heart one day it would come, you knew one day you would have to say goodbye, you knew one day you would hear those Taps at his funeral.... but you just have to handle it and be strong right. I remember taking him snacks at night, icecream and pie..... back then we weren't as close as I wanted. So I would hurry home from school just to bring him a glass of water... or help him is anyway I could. I use to be so angry when he would be so sick and not want anything (selfish I know) but I enjoyed chatting with him and having him tease me about getting him stuff. Anyway... it was bad... seeing him slowly dying... weeks and months went by one time and he went from being cheery and happy to quiet and not doing anything. Not playing my gameboy (tetris) not wanting snacks, not eating, no more family dinners... no more family trips to the mountains... nothing... I guess you could say I was still his best friend even though we were grown apart... I let the immature teens get to me, but boy did I love him, still do, miss him tons..

Pretty intense past me.... but damn it was a good one... lets pray the future holds more good times and not so many bad... life is going to keep throwing crazy moments at me... and make me cry and break down... but damn I am strong and get back up and fight it away.

Rest Easy W.J.G - I miss you Pop.

until the next blogs post......

FREEDOM from ME a Army Wife :)

Everyone hears of the Army Wife,
Her trials, sacrifices, and devoted life.
She is strong, she is brave, and she is loving indeed,
Standing by her man in his time of need.

But what of others in a similar situation,
Who have made being an Army Wife their main occupation?
They suffer many of the same trials and many of the same fears
Without the security of future years.

Will there be peace or will there be war?
You try to be hopeful but it's hard to ignore.
The world seems to be falling apart
When to a soldier you have given your heart.

Your love runs too deep to escape from it now.
You hope to be together somewhere, somehow,
When his duty is over and your life can begin.
You wonder if it will happen but don't question when.

The many heartbreaks and times you did weep
When he made promises the Army couldn't keep.
But you have learned so much together and come so far.
Others warned you not to fall in love but you already are.

His job is ever-changing and takes him far away.
You think of him always and pray every day--
For his safety, his courage, and his love for you
That he may remain steadfast, loyal, and ever true.

Nothing is sure and nothing is set in stone...
Except that he will leave again and you will be alone,
Holding tightly to your dreams of a future together
When you will at last be able to say the word "forever."

Tears have become anything but a stranger.
They fall freely in sadness, loneliness, and anger.
But he will never know because you will never tell.
You've learned to hide your misery only too well.

A few years? That doesn't sound like so long.
The letters and phone calls keep your love going strong,
Even when they are few and far between,
In them, his love for you can clearly be seen.

So keep your chin up and a smile on your face.
He is protecting your freedom and keeping you safe.
His heart is strong and his love is true
And don't ever forget that he is missing you too.



Freedom is having my husband home safe cause of the things HE does for this country and MANY others. Thank you Brad & the rest of you for giving this country FREEDOM.
I love you.

What are you thankful for in life?.


1. Walter & Karissa: My kids are my world. I am so thankful I got blessed to have such amazing children. I thank god EVERY DAY for letting my body conceive my kids, a lot of women in life can't have any kids & I feel bad for them cause their missing out on such a awesome gift. My son was born healthy & daughter too, they had no issues really and were home with me within a few days.


2. My husband: I wouldn't have my kids if it weren't for him & I am not to sure on how much my life would have been different if he wasn't in my life. That's 7 years of being together and 7 years my life has been up and down but awesome. Lets not forget that he came home from a war in one piece, need I be anymore thankful?.


3. Good health: A year ago I got told the doctors thought I have cancer on my ovaries. I was not happy... but tests got done and all came back clear. What a relief.. a huge amount of stress off my chest. I do think I have asthma though but thats another story... for the most part gods been good to me.


4. My family being with me still. With that I mean my grandmother has gotten her life and health under control and she is super healthy, no sign in losing her anytime soon. My mom got surgery to get her cancer removed and she is a lot better now (I hope). My siblings are all healthy and the rest of my family too... my husbands side for the most part are healthy. I really hate death as does everyone else, lets just hope it doesn't hit my family anytime soon.


5. A house to live in, granted this is because of the Military. But it could be worse, I could be living in a house that's falling apart, that the heat doesn't work, or the rugs filthy. I got placed into a pretty decent house and I got furniture in the house so I am thankful all over for my home.


I am pretty sure there is a lot more to be thankful for but I just named 5 things that Ia m thankful for EACH AND EVERY DAY.

Sunday Scribblings:


"Remember, you are not here to play it safe. You are here to start fires." - Sera Beak. So what do you make of: fire?


There is something burning in my heart
Spreading like a forest fire
It engulfs my body and my mind
Taking over me it burns me alive
This fire is burning ever so hot
All the time

If I ever try to put the fire out
I know I could not
For my heart is in too deep to be wrought
From its fiery pit which it burns aloft
This fire burns me now
All the time

The fire does not hurt as it burns my flesh
In fact I enjoy it as I burn
For this fire is not fire
But this fire is love
And with love I burn
For the one I love

I love my Soldier. My husband. My everything. Fire is LOVE to me.

Thinking of the Week That Just Ended


Who made you feel good this week?
My grandmom really made me feel good this week. I was talking to her the other day and she reminded me how good of a mother I was. She makes me smile and laugh with the stories she tells me sometimes and visa versa. She really is the best. She is a great mother..

What was the biggest mistake you made this week?
Biggest one was basically flipping out on my husband when I was on over board from stress at home. He has been barely home cause of work and duty and I have been doing the house keeping myself, as well as taking after the dogs and the kiddos. I just was losing it, but once I talked to him and calmed down it was worth talking over. No arguing, no fighting, no name calling. Was so worth it.. I love you.

What did you do this week that moved you closer to reaching your goals?
Not so much as moved me towards my goals... But I was practicing country line dancing and it was so stress relieving. I had a fun time doing it and love the music so it was a all around a good time.

Is there anything you did this week that you wish you’d done differently?
I wish that I went to bed at a decent hour because it kills me to get up lately. I usually can go to sleep but lately I can't.. I have so much on my mind. Normal bedtime is really truly needed.

What did you most enjoy doing this week?
I must say I most enjoyed seeing it snow outside. I got to see the kids smiling ear to ear with seeing it and playing it in. I got to see the dogs acting like snow bunnies in that beautiful white stuff. It was so beautiful... but it melted to fast. Lol.

How did you procrastinate on important tasks this week?
I was really flipping about getting the laundry done and my room cleaned. I succeeded and everything but every time it gets all done there is so much more to do after that. So it's like, it truly never ends.

What did you learn this week?
Learned that you need to tell people the truth, cause they need to know what your thinking. Especially when it comes down to a relationship issue. You need to let them know because in the end when your about to walk away - they will understand why. OR it can be discussed and fixed as your speaking about it.

What’s the funniest thing that happened to you this week?
I must say when the dogs ran past me a little bit ago and I broke a plate on my foot. They bumped me and I lost grip on the plate and it went shattering on the floor but it hit my foot first OUCH. I screamed so loud but it was pretty freaking funny.

Memories From Your Childhood


What was your favorite toy?
As far back as I can remember. I really loved my Polly Pockets. Those dolls were so cool, they came with such different things. I remember I got a set from my grandmother that was like tee-pee's and they were so cool. It had gates and little things of food, tables, beds, I had a house too. I had quite a few things for my Polly's. It's pretty amazing how much they have changed since then. But their still super cute :).

Did you ever get lost?
I really don't think I ever got lost anywhere. Not in the neighborhood anyway, I do remember getting lost in the mall though. I was walking with my grandmother and she told me to stay by, I as a kid wanting to touch everything wandered towards the toys and such and I couldn't find her. She wasn't in the same place as she was so I asked for help and they paged my grandmom. Kind of scary when your a kid and your lost and you have no clue where your parent is.

Who was your best friend in elementary school?
I had a few best friends in elementary school. I guess the best one was Kayla my step sister in law cause we lived close to one another. Literally right up the street and would walk to school together and walk home together. She was always so quiet but that was ok for me beings I was loud as hell. So she is pretty awesome, still is. We are still close.

Did you ever run away from home?
I never completely went missing from home no. The most I would run is like 10 blocks to my grandmothers house. So if mom got on my nerves or wasn't home and didn't watch me, or I was upset I would run to grandmom and grandpop's. It was the place to go where there was tons of comfort. Now granted I had to go back home a lot but I still knew I could have mom-mom to talk to.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
I remember wanting to be Veterinarian cause I loved animals. I remember walking around the crappy neighborhood I grew up in and see dogs walking around with no leash and thirsty or hungry or hurt and tons of cats who were the same. It always crossed my mind to help them. I actually remember my mom and me leaving food and water outside for the neighborhood cats that would come around cause we felt bad.

What was your favorite subject in school?
English - It has and always will be my favorite. I love it, specially when it comes down to Poetry or reading. I really love to read and poetry is how I express myself. It's all about grammar and how you use it. I really miss being in English class :(

Who was your favorite teacher?
Favorite teacher would have been NONE. Cause I had literally issues with everyone. They were either non-stop fighting with my parents, or fighting with me. They were by far horrible, the public school anymore in Philadelphia are ridiculous. I am glad I got away from them all.

What’s your first memory?
Kindergarten ... I remember kicking the shit out of my mom and teacher cause I didn't want to go to class. I guess I had like separation anxiety, I hated being away from her. I don't know... I failed cause I was barely there. I had to re-do the grade, but that is also a longer story...

What was your favorite cartoon?
That I can remember watching all the time. I use to watch dumb stuff with my brother like Poke'mon and stuff but that wasn't my favorite. Little LuLu was my favorite, I use to sit and watch it with my grandmom on the weekends, it was totally awesome of a show. She was so cool of a character :).

What book did you read over and over again as a child?
Over and over again would have been those stupid Jenny B Jones books. I was like obsessed with them damn things. I would go to the library all the time just to get them. And if the school library didn't have them I would get my grandmom to buy me some or I would go to the free library. LOL.

What is your most vivid memory of the kitchen in your childhood?
Hmmmmm.... I remember never being allowed to cook so that really breaks it down. I never had a memory in the kitchen in either house I was ever at. I always watched or talked to grandmom or mom, never helped. Sigh....

As a child, who was your favorite relative?
Really ... seriously .... hands down my grandmom and grandpop. But grandmom beats grandpop cause I would go clothes shopping with her, food shopping, play 500 rummy with her, go swimming with her, I mean everything. She is still awesome... I love her so much.

Three Things

Three things you can’t go without.
1. My Iphone4
2. My laptop
3. My Kids


Three celebrity crushes.
1. Channing Tatum
2. Johnny Depp
3. Michael C. Hall

Three favorite book characters.
1. Edward Cullen
2. Alice Cullen
3. Jacob Black


Three favorite things to wear.
1. Leggings
2. Ugg Boots
3. Long Sweaters


Three things you want in a relationship.
1. Trust
2. Faithfulness
3. Romance

If you had to evacuate your home because of a natural disaster, what three things would you take with you?
1. My kids
2. My kitchen of food
3. A lifetime of matches


Three pet peeves.
1. Liars
2. Cheaters
3. Not showering


Three things you’d do if you weren’t so afraid.
1. Tell those how I really feel.
2. Go get my GED.
3. Photography Classes.

Three favorite TV shows.
1. Army Wives
2. Dexter
3. Sons Of Anarchy